We sat and held each other crying, more often than not. I soon wondered if we would eventually become numb to the this feeling. Can one really become numb to the gut wrenching and nauseating pain of having your dreams of a family ripped right out from underneath you? I am not sure if we or our families could take another round of bad news. With all the bad news and disappointments one would think that it would drive a wedge between spouses. Instead, we grew closer and our relationship became stronger.
Our “hellos” turned to “How are you doing and how are you feeling.” Some nights we would decide to just camp out on the couch all night. Our nights were filled with anything that would take our mind off of everything that was going on. We knew we were coming to the end of our adoption journey somehow. But we were determined to start a family. We went back to researching children online, which, let me just say, it can be very depressing. We wanted to say yes to every child we came across, but there was no way on God’s green Earth, we could do it. There were children of all ages, ethnicities, and medical needs, all over the planet available for adoption.
We started to research countries and the adoption requirements. It is amazing what each country can define as an adoptive requirement. Everything from certain, income levels, BMI’s, or education levels were listed. Now, it seemed like the entire world was against us.
But, my wife was resilient. We would lay in bed and pray for guidance. At first, I wasn’t accepting this idea. I still had the scar on my heart and felt punished from above. But something deep inside of me said to go along with what my wife was doing. Keep praying. Little by little I grew more comfortable with this. I was starting to let hope, faith and God back into my life.
“What if we adopt from Columbia?”
We decided to investigate adopting from Columbia but there was far too much red tape. Even with a Columbian heritage, there were way too many hurdles. First, my mom would have to gather my deceased grandfather’s citizenship papers and pass his Columbian citizenship to herself. This could take up to a year and several trips to Chicago which is home to the nearest Columbian Embassy. After my mom were to be awarded Columbian citizenship, she could then pass it to my brother and I. This too, could take up to a year. Columbia, although a dream, was out of the question.
We had decided to continue looking at European countries. We found out that some countries are closed, some are not part of the Hague Convention, and some are. What is the Hague Convention? Well, the Hague Convention is an international agreement that establish safeguards to ensure that intercountry adoptions take place in the best interests of the child or children. Making sure the country we picked was part of the Hague Convention was important to us.
My wife continued looking and registered for several sites. “Look at this little guy.” she said, as she turned her phone and showed me a picture. The cutest little boy I had ever seen appeared on her screen.
I know everyone says that, but COME ONE PEOPLE, kids are stinkin’ adorable.
I don’t know how to describe it but there was an instant connection. It was as if God was putting this child on our path and telling us that he was the one we were to pursue. My wife could see that it was an international profile from Eastern Europe and was registered with an adoption agency within the United States. Right away I knew we needed to contact the agency and inquire about availability. We heard back a day later, or so and had a phone appointment to discuss some options and get our questions answered. There were couple things that we would need to do in order to be matched with this little boy.
First, we had to fill out a couple forms that were beyond several pages long. Of course, you guessed it, we had to send them some money, which was non-refundable, and was no small amount either. So, we did just that. We had to get this completed and fast so that no other family could get matched before us. Sure enough, we had gotten everything completed, in what seemed like the nick of time. And then the worker said those magical words, “You are officially match!”
What!?!?! We are matched?!?!? But I know it can’t be this easy. And I know I am not this naïve. But we went along with it. Of course there were many hurdles we needed to get through before we could bring our little boy home. Now, I say “our” little boy because that was what the worker had told us. The worker instilled so much hope in us and at the time we were very grateful.
Now, if you can recall, I wanted a baseball team, and bringing more than one child into our family was my goal. We were approved to adopt up to two children. If it was this easy to be matched with one child, it should be just as easy to be matched with a second child. Sure enough, it was but a couple weeks later, and my wife sent me an email with a second little boy. Now, at first, I didn’t feel that connection with his picture. And initially, I had said, “no.” Over the next couple days, I couldn’t help but keep looking at his profile. I grew more and more fond and started to develop the connection I was hoping for. We called one evening after work and asked if the boy was still available. I expected to be let down, but it was quite the opposite. He was available and we were instantly matched! Again it seemed too go to be true. But we went with it and we trusted the agency.
God is good!!! Two little boys were going to be adopted. We were finally going to start a family!
For more information and the Hague Convention please visit… https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/Intercountry-Adoption/Adoption-Process/understanding-the-hague-convention.html