We’ll do whatever it takes!
It wasn’t long after our first meeting with the social worker that she called to schedule our initial homestudy visit. I didn’t know whether to be excited or nervous. A few days before way made sure to clean and tidy up things around the house. We wanted to make a good impression. The day of the meeting came and I of course had all intentions of leaving work early, but that didn’t happen. So, I decided to rush home.
A very nice state trooper happened to notice and decided to pull me over. Apparently, going 77MPH in a 55MPH speed zone isn’t okay. While the trooper was at my window I politely explained to him why I was in such a rush. After our brief conversation he went back to his squad car only to return with better news than I thought I was going to get. The trooper reduced the fine to 1-10MPH above the limit and six points from my license. I guess it was a great lesson learned. No matter the occasion or how late you may be… DON’T SPEED.
Finally arriving home, the social worker and my wife were sitting in the living room chatting away. I purposely didn’t mention just getting pulled over. I figured, now, wasn’t the best time. What kind of impression is that? I definitely didn’t want that to affect anything with the homestudy. The social worker informed us that this would be the first of three appointments to complete all of the interviewing that is required to for a standard homestudy. We proceeded to show her around home, taking time upstairs to explain how we would setup a nursery and how my wife’s dad would make a crib. I made a point to mention the fire ladder that we would keep in the nursey as well.
“Yes, because that makes sense. A baby can lift a fire ladder and put in the window and climb out in case of an emergency.”
If you can’t tell, I was incredibly nervous. After viewing every inch of our home, she gave us the state requirements that needed to be followed in order to become approved. This included installing several fire extinguishers, more smoke detectors, and crab-monoxide detectors throughout our home. Thankfully, it wasn’t much. The only items we had to purchase were new fire extinguishers.
It was time to start the interview questions. At least we could be comfortable in the living on the couch. Through my wife’s research we knew that the interview questions were going to be personal and I mean, very personal. At first it wasn’t bad. The questions were simple with little discussion and we would move on. Then it came to the awkward questions like; “How do you feel about nudity in your home?” Really!!!! “How were you disciplined as a child and do you feel you would use those same techniques?” Oh becuase it’s every adults dream to relieve the worst parts of their childhood!!! “How does your family feel about you adopting?” Gee…I don’t know…why don’t you ask them!!
Maybe I am over reacting a little bit, but there are far too many personal questions that were asked.
Just think if every couple, about to engage in intercourse were to whip out a list of questions and compile a report before deciding yay or nay.
After all of the questions were asked, she handed two packets with even more questions. This time we had to answer questions about our spouse. We then would openly discuss our answers as a group. Oh and no talking while taking the quiz.
Okay, I can get over the fact that we just had been interrogated two ways to Tuesday, but the icing on the cake had to be when she gave us the binder. Yes, she gave us a binder. And not just any binder, it was three inches thick, exploding with educational materials. The social worker briefly went through a couple sections explaining what we would need to do. Everything from professional articles with questions, to online courses with quizzes, and a 10 hour video with more questions.
“Did we just get enrolled in a college course?”
It certainly felt like it. Of all the classes, this was the class you needed an A in.
She left our home after scheduling the next meeting. Sinking into the couch in exhaustion I couldn’t help but think, “What just happened?” Over the next couple months we would work through the sections in the binder. The pressure of completing all of this educational material grew immensely. But as the pressure grew I found myself growing more determined. Still apprehensive, but determined.
We would meet with our social worker a total of three times. Each time we answered more questions and had open discussion. I was finally starting to feel comfortable with being interrogated by her. You had to be, with how invasive the questions were.
But I learned how beautiful hind site can be. I now realize how crucial this process is. The adoption agency is placing a precious child, no matter the age, in a forever home, and they need to ensure this home is the best fit for the child.
A few months later we made it on the list. What an accomplishment!! We made it on the list!!!!!
And now we get to wait…….